Busted

It would take a lunatic to claim emergency Neurology call for a 700+ bed Level One Hospital is the least bit fun. Twenty five years ago when I was consulted on a difficult case, perhaps someone in a coma or with a stroke unpredictably occurring after being admitted to the hospital for a non critical problem, the encounter went fairly well.. I would do my assessment, explain to the patient's family what had transpired and the most likely future course.  Invariably I was thanked for my time and effort. Technically this is a new millennium which may be the explanation for the current  bedside scene. Now my efforts can be hostilely received and I am sometimes accused of conspiring to cover up the facts.

"How could this happen?" a family member might ask. " She is only 85 years old ".
I have heard this comment shouted more than once. As I said: It's a new paradigm.

But occasionally something funny does occur. In Neurology we now offer a clot buster, TPA, for acute stroke which is beneficial if given within a certain exact time frame. More often than not, the Emergency Room MD makes the call and I see the patient over the hour that the medication is being administered. Occasionally it is not clear whether the Emergency Room patient is having a stroke or there is an event on the regular hospital floor, outside of the Emergency Room domain.. It is then necessary for me to do a bedside examination within this narrow time frame. Obviously I need to get there quickly meaning I get to drive like a maniac. Given the potential seriousness of the situation, I had assumed I would escape consequence as long as I did not cause an accident. 

Once you are comfortable racing a bike at high speed, shoulder to shoulder, through narrow turns with total strangers on a machine weighing less than 20 pounds, on tires less the 1 inch wide with greater than 100 pounds of pressure, you feel that nothing could go wrong at any speed  in a one ton machine with 4 fat tires. I drive a 1999 Audi A4  that has Quatro computer assisted 4 wheel independent drive   This means anyone can corner like a race car driver without losing control  It is not legal to have Quatro in car racing, too easy to be good. I had my brakes repaired for the first time at 130,000 miles. The first rule of criterium bike racing is not to brake through the corners. Generally in the car I turn at full speed.

Several months ago I had a call from the fifth floor in the hospital concerning a patient with a probable acute stroke. There was some ambiguity necessitating my immediate presence. I had 30 minutes to get to the Medical Center, do the assessment, and make a recommendation 'yay or nay' on the clot buster. I drove a short distance to I 75, flew down the interstates at high speed, passing everyone, using all lanes including the emergency lane when blocked in the conventional lanes. I encountered  no resistance and elicited no sirens, Off the interstate I drove through the side streets, only slowing at red lights and stop signs. When I came down the hill approaching the hospital, I felt I might make it on time but I needed to run  two stop signs within thirty feet of each other. They were set at a 45 degree angle with such good visibility I could easily see at 100 meters the intersections were both clear. I sailed through  without slowing  and then parked on the street just past the signs. As I leaped from the car I noted the blue light approaching. I acted like I did not see it and trotted to the front entrance of the hospital. The car stopped and the driver, a stocky young guy, took off after me. I picked it up when I reached the lobby and headed for the stairwell.

I sensed he had pulled his weapon . Having a good lead I ran zig zag avoiding a potential volley of bullets, adding to the spectacle the bored people in the lobby were now enjoying. I had planned to sprint up the stairs knowing most bikers can drop anyone going up five flights of stairs. I suddenly realized there was no way to out run this. He could just wait for me at the car or worse have it impounded. So I stopped, appearing to just realize there was a problem, hoping he was clueless about the bullet avoiding run.

"What's wrong?" I inquired

"What was the hurry though those stop signs?" was his predicable response.

I quickly explained the situation and agreed to meet him after the consultation in the police station located on the first floor. I managed to make it to patient's room in time and made the appropriate decision, which at this point, I do not recollect. When I  got to the office the policeman was waiting and appeared somewhat angry. I assumed he would give me a lecture and let me go. I was then shocked to find out he had written two tickets and had no intention of any mercy. I got a little feisty myself and began to argue.

"Take it up with the judge" and he pointed to the hand written court date on the citation

Conceding for the moment though fully intending to show up in court with a team of lawyers, I asked why he was so inflexible, given the fact I was legitimately in a hurry.

"Because you almost ran someone over." He confidently spat in my direction

"Almost. Almost! " I countered.  Almost don't count in car wrecks !

The  Crime Scene (as visualized by "The Man", look carefully under far Stop sign)